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Psychiatrist Daniel Siegel, MD, shares tips for parents on the best way to prevent flipping out and yelling at your kids in order to remain calm and in control of your emotions.

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21 Responses

  1. Great! Try doing this when you are 15 minutes late to get them to school and yourself to work because they don’t want to get up in the morning. Every morning is a fight to get my children out of bed and to school. They hate school. I’m talking every single morning it’s like this. I don’t have time to go out for a walk or sing a jingle. These therapists really need to give advice for extremely defiant kids.

  2. My counselor said to me that if you are yelling you have gone into a child like state. So there are now two children shouting at one another. But if you can learn to take a time out and self regulate, then you are operating from your calm adult self. This knowledge really helped me to communicate better with my son. I would say to him that I need a time out and then when I was calm we could go over the events from a more coherent perspective and both feel like we are being heard, instead of just shouting at one another where everything turns to a blur and nothing is resolved.

  3. Much harder to accomplish for single parents, because when we are flipping out our child will follow us and there is no one to stop that. So we find it harder to calm down, because the trigger is so close.

  4. I love your approach. I’m always scared to click on stuff like this for fear they will go into all the ways my yelling harms my child and make me feel worse. Then I don’t fix the issue. That was good how you say it’s not your fault. I don’t think it is bc that’s how I was raised but I definitely don’t want that for my kids. It’s my responsibility to work on that. Thank you!

  5. I searched, why does my child yell and how to get her to stop. And this came up! And I laughed out loud. Because I know that our children learn from us. And I know that I can control myself, but I can’t control her. Or rather, I can change my behaviors.thanks for this short but helpful reminder.

  6. Another tip is to SING what you want to say if it's appropriate to do so. This is especially helpful with little to medium-sized children.
    Have a jingle that relates back to your family expectations. Choose a little tune that you can instinctively recall and you can freestyle or prepare little rhymes for instances that have commonly been a challenge for you all.
    Example:
    *(Tune of "Mary Had A Little Lamb")
    *It's time to put your shoes on now
    Shoes on now, shoes on now
    It's time to put your shoes on now
    One foot at a time.*
    Or:
    "Speak to me with a quiet voice so I can hear your words."
    and you can do the same as part of your technique for letting some air out of that frustration balloon:
    " I'M going to use a quiet voice
    So you can hear my words."

    Experiment and learn what is helpful for you and your family.
    Find your *Groove*. ❤🎵

  7. Thanks for the tips, I have two wonderfull kids with lots of energy 🙂
    I may have a solution if you need some alone time:
    You know the scenario. You are the only parent at home and you have to make food for your family. But how to entertain your kids at the same time? Check out entertainment for kids (1-4 years) on our channel 😉

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